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[sticky post] Any Questions? Ask Away....

Please leave any questions you have on anything you are confused about. Whether that be pertaining to my Youtube Channel, or this Livejournal :)

And I'll be sure to answer them in one of my Youtube videos or here on this Livejournal. So please keep watching or reading... and I'm sure I'll answer any questions you might have.

Please go to my "intro" tag to get a better understanding of this Livejournal OR go to My Youtube Channel's Introductions Playlist to get a better idea on the topics I will cover and of how I will conduct my channel.

Below is an important list (also under the "intro" tag) I would like you to read, in order to understand my Livejournal:

Why I started my Livejournal? (aka "Let's just start this thing") Please bare in mind I explain over multiple posts.
Things I will like you to keep in mind.
Post to all of my Blog's table of contents (aka "What you can expect from this blog") ie. All of the posts I have ever written for this blog.
(or you can start from the very beginning by clicking here, scroll down for the earliest post. Or alternatively, click on the "Table of Contents" tag, to get a quick overview on what I have written.)
Below is all of the Playlists (and the subsequent videos in that Playlists) on My Youtube Channel :
Separated and organized into sub-categories (with related LJ post) so that navigating this blog can be more user-friendly.

China (中国) Playlist
   - China Intro.

- KhanAcademy going for Dreams!

- Brian Wong, Going for Dreams!

  - Shanghainese Extra

- Challenge: . . . then Prove Me Wrong!

- Note on Failure.

*will periodically update this post as I progress along.
**NOTE: To all of you LiveJournal blog newbies, below is where the most recent entry is posted. . . .

This is my first post of 2013 (in China that is) and I'm going to start with one that reflects on the passing year. This will be another one of my many "Talking to Myself" post. I need to exercise demons and the only way I know how is by writing it out.

2012 was the year of failure. That's what I thought, but really it was the set up for the next chapter, it asked me, will you stop letting the naysayers stop letting you 2nd guess yourself? Because in order for you to succeed in the future, you can't allow people to sway your commitment to the cause. So ask yourself…

Why are you doing this all for? And if it's for all the right reasons, then why are you wasting time listening to haters? Why are you wasting time explaining yourself to negative haters? All they'll do is keep on narrow-mindedly hating, so why don't to just pay them no mind, and keep doing what you do?

Do. What. You. Do…. Keep your eyes on the prize and the rest will take care of itself.

No need to prove yourself, when you haven't anything to show for it, not yet. Until then, remember you need no one's permission to live the life that you want.

I can do this because I can, & I don't need a better reason than that. If people need you to explain yourself, that's their problem not yours. They don't have to understand you or your view point for you to keep doing what you want to do with your life.

So Remember: The point to life isn't to never meet failure, it's what do you do once you met it? Try again, that's what. Please, always remember that.

Read more...Collapse )So what was the lesson learned? What is the mantra said?

Stop letting the naysayers get to me & we are going to stop over thinking things & if we fail, see how much that's ok, because in the end, the world did not end and we can try again.

I'm going to stop apologizing and I will stop asking permission for choosing the type of life that I want to live. I feel no need to explain myself to haters.

Time out to China.

I am going to China with 2 goals in mind.

Edit: I came back from China in June.

When you are stuck and don't know what to do. Get out of your environment and try something different. So that's why in the beginning of 2013, I decided to go to China for 5 months.

Read more...Collapse )

Challenge: . . . then Prove Me Wrong!

The above video is My response to haters. Especially the ones that comment on my "America, China Will Never Beat You" video. Go look for yourself, in it's comment section, here : http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=gkszB3mmpvE

Shanghainese Extra

Fullfilling a request by commenter jManNative brought this video forth. Enjoy!

Vote to Continue the American Story.

Barack Obama has a very unique story that allows him to relate to many peoples stories. He has a multiracial heritage. Son of a Kenyan father and a white American mother. Who grew up in Indonesia and Hawaii. Being black, white, Asian, and an immigrant makes up who he is, he understands those stories. Because he's been there and has family that come from those backgrounds.

Barack Obama understands the different definitions of family. He had an absent father and sometimes absent mother. That had an Indonesian stepdad and has a half sister. Who was raised by his grandparents through middle school and high school. Knowing the pain and acceptance of what a family can go through, Barack Obama knows the feeling because he's been there, he knows the stories of people who didn't grow up in the traditional definitions of what family is.

And yet for better or for worse, whether Barack Obama background made him struggle or stronger, he overcame any setbacks. Working hard and getting he's education. Going to Occidental College, Columbia University, and then Harvard Law School so that he could make a difference. Instead of using he's talents to succeed for himself, Barack Obama worked for people as a community organizer and Senator. From humble beginnings to the White house.

That is an amazing story. A story that is inspirational, that no matter the seemingly impossible road to become president, if you work hard and have the right & good intentions you too can be like Barack Obama and make it to the White house. Because America will give you the opportunity to make something of yourself as long as you give it your best try.

America, believe in yourself again and you too can be like president Barack Obama. Turn yourself from an impossible vision, that we can be great again, and make it happen just because you tried. America, you still have that possibility within you.  We just need the whole country to work hard towards that vision because that's the only way this recession can be overcomed.

But 1st thing's 1st go OUT & VOTE! Get the right leader in the president seat, so that when you tell him what you want & how much you want this country to be great again, he'll listen to you and your concerns and try his best to help you out?

Learn more about Barack Obama here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama

sidenoteCollapse )

Telling a Story from an Extreme.

The main points that you are suppose to take away from this video are 3 things.
1. Only in extremes can you understand nuance.
2. Only when you compare, do you know the difference.
3. Only when you see it in other people, can you reflect back on yourself.

And this is why I tell stories from an extreme. I just want to make a point, enough where is gets your attention. I just want to make you think.

But honestly, I do my videos to be a voice to the people that don't chose to have one, because they are to afraid to speak up or because they don't know how to have one. I have met so many people that have struggled with the same issues that I have, and yet our issues still aren't really known. It's because it's not talked about it in a larger platform. So how about changing that? You can only fix a problem, if you admit that you have one. So I take the 1st step by talking about why our issues exist. I hope that in my small way, I'll be able to make a difference and get others to talk about our issues to the point where we'll be able to fix them.

American Ideals vs. Asian Trauma

Below is a table that illustrates what is the sort of language I associate with the 2 sides of myself. One being the American side and the other being the Asian. This is also what I did in preparation to the above video.

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It's a summation to my username: ClownInPathos. It represents how "I am an inherent pessimist, that likes to think optimistically."

I've talked about this before and thought it summed up how I felt, so I'll re-post it here. Taking from "Why the Fallout?" post:

"I might be able to label myself Chinese-American, but in reality, I was never able to live well with that label. To be Azn is so different then being American. I thought I was assimilated to this country, I believe in it’s ideals, and bought into it’s dreams. But I never knew until later that I was too influenced by being Azn to be so easily American.

Azn is about family, and to be dependent, it’s about safety. It’s hard work and hierarchy. 

American is about friendship, and to be independent, it’s about dreams. It’s love and equality.

I thought I could be American, but being born Azn, I could never really be (that) American."

The Youtube job, wasn't meant to be.

Since I couldn't find a way to get the Google / Youtube job that I was hoping to get, I think it's time to move on and figure what I was suppose to do instead. I guess dreams something fail, when you don't have the skill set to know how to make it work. Time to move on and hopefully I'll find something that was really what I was meant to do. Below is all the posts I did for this series. And see the progress, roadblocks, and eventual failure. Or see all the post by clicking the "google = job" tag.

Introductions Playlist

Starting on Youtube: Table of Contents
- T: Google Job, drafting.

Google, Do you! Focus on Youtube.

Youtube, I Want to Help Make You Great!
Circle complete, so let's start agian.Haters on Youtube.Youtube, Focus on Content. Think Like an Artist.

Spell it out in Pinyin.

Below are all the notes I researched and collected in preparation to doing the above video.

Skippable...Collapse )

Failed, so it's no Job to look forward to.

I guess I was too focus on how I could be of use to Youtube, never asking if they ever wanted my help. I guess I just never had the right skill to get the job. There's nothing I can do, but to let it go, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

All I got was silence..

Seems like 2 years from the advice of the Google employee, and the Youtube Forum is not the best way to make suggestions. No employees to hear or listen, but want can I do, So I tried giving my advice again. I wonder if they can see my potential and how much I know what I'm talking about.

Here's my 2nd attempt to getting noticed:

Youtube, you can see how much people complain about your service because your brand is no longer a narrative that mean something to them. People like belonging to a story. Not interrupted by an ad model they're not interested in listening to.

And that's why ads don't work, sure they get viewed, but are they really selling anything? It's the new version of spam, Youtube I get that you need money to stay in business, all I'm saying is that you can do it better. This is about long-term Vision and what's going to work in the future, not about what has worked in the past, and currently not working very well.

People still use commercials because no one has come up with a better way to do it. Sitting on old habits, can get you extinct, if you don't move with the times. Isn't this the Era of Social Networking? So why aren't ads getting more of the human element involved? And it's not about the one mega contest entry, it's about creating a story, a story you subscribe to every day. This is about learning from the blog/internet model and not TV.

Targeting ads to people that are looking to buy is such a better way to sell product, than to infiltrate the market hoping for people to take notice. That's such an old way to do things. That's why creating a place, a sort of Community Channel divided by subjects can help better Target your ads, Youtube. Ads mean nothing when they lack context. It's not about selling, it's about what does this mean to my life?

Take books as an example. If there was a Channel solely devoted to videos about books, people that read and love books would bookmark that Channel to find other people that also liked books. When you find people just like you, you're more willing to hear their story. But since this is Youtube, instead of people simply devouring news on the latest books to read, they can join a conversation.

Youtubers would make videos talking about their favorite books, books they want to recommend for others to read, new or old, they want to dissect and talk about the details of the book. All the while having other Youtubers and commenters join in on the conversation, until they get so invested in the book/s, the like-minded people, the Community Channel, that they come back everyday to see what new videos are up. What are the awesome conversations they need to join into.

What this creates is interest, buzz, enough where it creates context, enough where people remember a story, where the next time they're looking to buy a book, they'll buy the book that they remember people were talking about on Youtube. They're curious enough to see what everyone's enthusiasm is all about.

… Now Youtube, this is what your missing, a platform where you focus on people 1st, create a story, and then that brings in the money. The details need to iron themselves out, but that's why Youtube, are you willing to hear me out? A vision for a better ad model? The investment in people can set your company up for greatness, that's why your focus needs to re-directed back to what makes people care enough about you to keep you in business.
It took some doing, and a lot of trying and drafting. But I think I've got a start.

Below is the "Letter" I sent to the youtube/google forum to see if by doing it this way, I'll be able to get a job.


Youtube, do you take suggestions on how to make you better?

Ever thought to take your feedback system to the next level? Where people can give you suggestions in video form? Where people can SHOW you what you can improve upon, instead of just by telling you? Where people can tell you with a story, allowing you to see their Vision? 

By that, I mean, get feedback from the people that know you best? Us, the Youtubers? But more specifically the Youtubers that are willing to put in the time and effort to prove to you how much Youtube, you can be soooo much better? The Us, that can give you advice on how to make you better because we KNOW how much better you can get? Us, that want to challenge you to take yourself to the next level? Us, that aren’t engineers, but artist that can see the potential that you aren’t using? Because our advice comes from the fact that we aim for dreams and we're always looking for ways to improve the future?

Visionaries and extraordinaires that if you listen to us, can make you great? We want to help you be that great company that makes us proud to call ourselves part of the Youtube community. The us that want to help you dream BIG, because it helps us dream BIG.

I say this as being one of those people. Youtube, I want to help make you Great. Because fabulous dreams can be attained, if only your system is made better.

Youtube, I’ve known about you ever since the summer of 2007. So I’ve known you from the beginning, when you were hitting your stride. I know the best version of you. I know the version where the focus was solely about the people. And how the discovery of finding people just like you was what got me coming back to your site. Youtube, I want to help you remember that version of yourself. The Youtube that was about the people. And it was Us that made you great.

So over the course of the last year and a half I have devoted my energies into showing you this Vision. A Vision that can make you great and I was wondering if you would be willing to hear me out?

The below videos I made, a precursor, tells you of that said Vision:
1. List of Things, Youtube can do to make itself a site that's about the people.

2. “Youtube, I Want to Help Make You Great!”

3. “Youtube, Focus on Content. Think Like an Artist.”

The above videos are the top 3 suggestions that I wanted to tell you Youtube. This next link is the other videos I worked on, their in My Google / Youtube Series Playlist: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL08868BB7FDEB3192

Youtube, I think you're missing better focus, and below are the top 3 ways that I think you can vastly improve yourself upon:

1. organization aka editing.

2. viewer participation aka loyalty.

3. sponsorship aka a new ad model.

Meaning it boils down to Social Networking. Youtube, I think you're forgetting that in order to go for greatness, you need to remember that people need to be part of that equation. You'll only get better as a company, if people care enough about you to help you achieve that goal. You have to mean something to them. What challenges you to get past mediocre when no one cares to help you take yourself to the next level?

Well, I want to see you succeed Youtube, I want you to be a leader in the Age of New Technology, because I know the potential in you. You just don't know nor see it yet. So I want to help you realize that great potential vision you haven't spent the last couple of years seeing it in you, like I have. 

I can’t sum this up in one post, so a meeting would greatly help better communicate my vision.

So Youtube, what say you? Willing to hear me out?

See the Failure...Collapse )

Taking time to breathe.

You know when this all started? It all started with Sid--> Trolling on Youtube (Part 3)

My momentum started to grind to a halt when I received that BS exchanged from Sid. That literally took me OUT! And I started to feel really empty after that. I started to wonder if making these videos was even worth it, if people like that are going to judge you for something I Do Not need in my life right now. I don’t need hate for stating what I believe to be true, and I stand by everything that I said in “America, China Will Never Beat You.” I was pissed that Sid just have the nerve to refuse to see that we disagree, end, period. All he kept doing was blaming me for not painting a pretty picture, for what it’s like to be Azn.

Knowing there are people out there like that, I think it frightened me. Because I’ve done so much pre-production and outlining of what videos I’m going to do, that if I’m going to get this kind of hate again? Man, I’m just not sure if I’m up to it. It’s already hard enough to get my life together, I don’t need people to misunderstand me and then blame me for misunderstand me. Lashing out at me, just bcuz they’re not happy with their own lives. I’m really sad to say this, but I’m not strong enough to deal with this. I have enough issues with my own personality, that if I don’t want to get mad, I just feel empty. I can’t just brush this off like it never happened, the injustice of it BOTHERS me. Why do people stick to complaining, instead of wanting to change their lives? Plus I don’t have the coping skills to go about my day, not having this not get to me. Victim playing makes me MAD. I hate it when people choose to live their lives that way. It does no one any good, lest of all the world. We already have enough problems, why add more?

The major reason why I wanted to do these videos, was because I grew up having such a difficult time dealing with how it is to be Azn, and how we’re constantly treated, like Sh*t (mostly from our parents), that I wanted to talk about it. Openly and honestly, and then people out there hate you for it. I’m really not strong enough for this. I could do this generic, and say things in a way that won’t get people offended, but then what would be the point, if I was to do that? I wanted to show pain, I wanted to show how PAINFUL this is to be Azn, and it sux that people won’t let you tell your story in the way that you want to tell it. I guess the demons keep coming back, I can’t deal with judgement, especially when I don’t think I did anything wrong.

You know why Azns never talk about their high suicide rates? It’s because so few refuse to put themselves out there for others to judge them. I didn’t want to be like that, I wanted to be an Azn that faced my fears, and problem solve this, because nothings aren’t ever going to change, if everyone always keep doing nothing. But apparently my desire to do something doesn’t match my will to see this through. I’m going into deprivation mode again and I don’t have the coping skills to deal with this better.

I guess this is what, honestly got me to give up, I lost the want to get the Youtube job. If this is what is in my future. More hate. I wonder if I’m up to it? It reminded me of my own inadequacies. It’s hard to get a job at Youtube, the competition is fierce, and it got me to question if I was good enough. Companies don’t give jobs to college dropouts, right? You have to be exceptional and extraordinary to get over that hurdle. I’m questioning if I’m able to do that, when I’ve been feeling to out of it lately. I can’t fake the good mood, when that’s not how I feel. I’m not a good liar. Nor do I want to lie about how I feel.



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